48-year-old once turned down a VP job with a 25% raise, but only 10 days of PTO

Sherri Carpineto has enough experience working in corporate America to know that finding work-life balance can feel impossible.

Carpineto, 48, is currently a senior director of operations for a health-care company and lives in Boston. Over her 20-year-plus career, she’s learned it’s important to her to have strong boundaries around paid time off.

Two years ago, when she was offered a vice president-level role at a health-care company that offered 10 days of PTO — inclusive of both vacation and sick time — she knew even the 25% pay bump wouldn’t make up for the lost flexibility.

Carpineto was already in a job she enjoyed when a recruiter reached out to her to interview for a top-level operations role at a new company. She was curious and accepted the invite.

However, Carpineto noticed when the CEO said during an interview that she struggled with work-life balance and that the company’s policies didn’t do much to help. “This was not about PTO in particular, but that is a part of it,” Carpineto says.

Looking back, Carpineto says she should have paid attention to the red flag, but she continued on with interviews and eventually landed an offer.

Carpineto admits the offered salary was “generous” and would have been a roughly 25% increase from her previous job. But in reviewing the benefits, she learned of the 10-day PTO policy, “and that just would not work for me.”

Managing time off around the school year for her two sons, now 12 and 15, could easily take up all those paid days off, she thought. And that wouldn’t leave wiggle room for unexpected illnesses or other time off needs.

“To me, as a mom of two boys, being able to have that flexibility of more than 10 days off an entire year was important to me and my family at that point,” she says.

Carpineto says she was also caring for her sick mother at the time.

Carpineto says she tried to negotiate for more paid days off – she was used to a minimum of 15 days per year from previous jobs. She even tried to negotiate her contract to include an allowance of one to two weeks of unpaid time off if needed, which the company also declined. What’s more, Carpineto recalls the recruiter asking her to make a decision within a day, which was too quick for her comfort.

The potential for a big pay raise made the decision much harder, but Carpineto ultimately declined the offer. She says the discussion over PTO was likely a sign she and the new company weren’t a good fit.

Carpineto views the PTO conversation as bigger than having a few extra vacation days: “It sets a precedent for what the company values and what they value for their employees. Knowing that they trust you and they offer that flexibility is the sort of environment I want to work at in at this point in my career.”

Plus, she worried that the company’s lack of flexibility would limit her abilities as a people-manager. “I’m a high-producing person, and I expect good results from anyone that works for me,” she says. “But I’m also very much in the camp of: Work shouldn’t take away from family time. So working in that environment as a manager is not something that I was interested in.”

Carpineto says she was in a fortunate position to be able to decline the job without being financially strained. While unemployed workers or those in need of a better job might not have as much leverage to say no, she encourages job-seekers to make sure they’re clear on what they need out of a role.

Get clear on your essentials and your nice-to-haves in a job, whether that’s around the role itself, the company or the benefits on offer, Carpineto says. Prioritize and stick to them, whether it’s a certain salary, good health benefits, opportunities for career advancement, or something else.

“If it’s a priority, ask [for it],” Carpineto says. “If you don’t ask, you don’t get it.”

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