People in the happiest relationships do 5 things during weekdays

Sometimes, 24 hours just doesn’t feel like enough. Between work, commutes, and a growing to-do list, it’s easy to get through an entire weekday without really connecting with your partner. But staying close doesn’t require extra time — just intention.

As a psychologist who studies couples (and as a husband), I’ve seen firsthand how small daily rituals can help people feel more connected, especially when life is busy. Even better news: Intimacy isn’t something that has to wait until the weekend.

Here’s what people in the happiest relationship do during the weekdays — that most neglect.

Most mornings are rushed and chaotic: alarms, deadlines, and the hurry to get out the door. That means the only real moment spent together is waking up in the same bed, and maybe a distracted kiss before they go their separate ways.

But happy couples find small ways to start the day together, even if it’s just for five or 10 minutes. That might mean setting the alarm a little earlier to cuddle before getting out of bed, making the bed together while chatting about your dreams, or sitting side-by-side for your morning coffee — even in silence.

The point isn’t how you do it, but that you actually do it. The best couples remind each other: “Regardless of how cruddy the day ahead might be, we’ve still got each other.”

You don’t need long, drawn-out conversations during the workday to stay connected. A funny meme, a little anecdote about your daily office drama, or a quick “thinking of you” message can be enough to strengthen emotional intimacy.

The happiest couples check in — not to talk logistics, but to remind each other they’re top of mind. It takes just a few seconds (during a lunch break, coffee run, or even a quick bathroom trip) to check in with their other half.

These small notes may seem insignificant, but they’re powerful mood-boosters — and a simple way to make your partner feel seen. Not only does this nurture your sense of intimacy in the midst of a hectic day, but it’ll also bless you with a little hit of midday motivation: a reminder of the person waiting for you at home. 

Stress from the workday has a sneaky way of bleeding into time with your partner, whether it’s through email-checking or a snappy tone.

That’s why the happiest couples take a few minutes to unwind alone after the workday ends. Whether it’s a solo walk, a quick workout, or just zoning out with a snack and your favorite TV show, this “me time” helps clear the mental clutter so you can show up more present and patient for your partner.

It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes the best way to reconnect is to recharge separately first.

Evenings can be dominated by separate routines — one partner cleans up while the other scrolls on their phone, or both crash on opposite ends of the couch.

But the happiest couples intentionally carve out one shared moment every day. No distractions, no multitasking. Maybe it’s sitting down to dinner together, playing a quick game, or watching your favorite trivia show while shouting answers at the screen. Even five minutes of undivided attention can go a long way.

What it looks like doesn’t matter. It only needs to be shared, and fiercely protected. No kids, no chores, no notifications allowed.

These nightly “audits” aren’t meant to solve problems, but they do help you stay emotionally aligned and prevent little issues from becoming bigger ones. It’s just a matter of simple questions and even simpler answers: “How are you, really?” or “Are we okay?”

Some nights, it might be statement-based: all the thank yous, sorries, or little thoughts you may not have had the time to share during the day.

Quick, nightly audits ensure that nothing goes unsaid throughout the week, only to spill out on the weekends. Most importantly, they’re the best way to tend to your connection, without exhausting yourselves in the process.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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